Until She Comes Home
by Noble Voyager
Summary: "Somehow, deep inside, I know she's not dead. I long for the day when she'll come back running towards me, and I can finally wrap her around my arms once again. I'll wait for that until she comes home."


**Title:** Until She Comes Home  
><strong>Author:<strong> Noble Voyager  
><strong>RatingWarnings:** K+  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Centering around Mirajane, with mentions of Lisanna and Elfman  
><strong>SettingTimeline: **Edolas arc (Around episode 76)  
><strong>Summary:<strong> "Somehow, deep inside, I know she's not dead. I long for the day when she'll come back running towards me, and I can finally wrap her around my arms once again. I'll wait for that until she comes home."  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> This story is based on the anime/manga created and owned by Hiro Mashima. I do not own Fairy Tail. No copyright infringement is intended.  
><strong>Notes:<strong> This is something that I wrote while pondering about how Mirajane would handle the years after Lisanna's disappearance. It also shows how her life was like before the incident. After I watched episode 95 of the anime, I HAD to write this, and I feel like Mashima wasn't able to highlight on HOW Mira's life changed after Lisanna "died". And thus, I wrote it for him. Hehe. :D Oh, if you haven't watched the episode or haven't read chapter 199, then you've missed half of your life as a Fairy Tail fan/viewer/addict or whatever you like to call yourself. It was one of the most emotional scenes in the whole series. And I also wondered if Mirajane always realized that Lisanna wasn't dead AT ALL, it would be here. While I was writing this, I could almost hear Mira's voice saying, "Come home soon, Lisanna." I felt like crying there. :( Anyway, I can say that this piece is one of my favorites so far, so reader response and reviews will especially be valued.

* * *

><p><em>Trust your heart<br>__if the seas catch fire  
><em>_(and live by love  
>though the stars walk backward)<em>

_Honor the past  
><em>_but welcome the future_

- An excerpt from the poem, "Dive for Dreams" by E.E. Cummings

...

I never thought that the world would seem so bleak and empty at the loss of one person. I could almost feel as if a dagger was piercing through my chest every time I entertain that notion. There is just this unfathomable feeling inside that never insists on leaving. The pain, the sobs, the mourning, the grief – all of these things used to be temporary and ephemeral among the guild members. But ever since we lost _her_, the one person who always makes us feel that everything is going to be okay, I couldn't even find the right word to express the sorrow that befell upon us. I felt terribly empty no matter what I do. Because every time I push myself to start the day, I would always think of her. She was the one who helped me realize that the simple, mundane things that other people wouldn't even bother to deem significant are the ones that matter in life.

When I was around fourteen years old, I took the little things for granted. In fact, they meant nothing to me at all. Everything I did, even the smallest and simplest of things like washing the dishes, setting the table, and cleaning my room, was not that much of significance in my life. I was blind back then (figuratively blind, that is). I didn't have a goal or a resolve to find out what's my purpose in life. Because of this, I pretend I did. That's why I bully all those people whom I feel that are lesser than I am, taunting them for being weaklings and all. But with the help of my little sister, I started to set it aside a bit.

She would always say, "Mira-nee, don't take the little things for granted because they always lead to something bigger." That one, simple statement somehow made an irreversible change in my life. Now that I am here, playing the part of an S-Class mage and a friend to all of my guild members, I do these simple things as if they were the most important in the world. Everything I do now for my fellow mages – serving them their needs or fighting for them whenever we get caught up in battles – reminded me of her. She was the one who made me realize that if I make use of these little things to serve my fellow ones, then the door to greater and bigger opportunities will finally open.

Often, during those dark and gloomy days after experiencing tough trials, my little sister is always the one who recovers fast. Of course, there are times when she weeps and feels down about herself, thinking that she wasn't able to offer a big help; but she is someone who is adept at seeing the light in the darkness. She rejoices in these tough times, for she knows that something good will come out of this. She was a very bright and optimistic young person. She would always enlighten us in these ever-so bleak situations with that radiant smile of hers, making everything seem all right once again. It even makes us forget that we have problems. That's how important she is in the Fairy Tail family.

If there was one thing that I will _never _forget about Lisanna – the one thing that truly inspires her fellow mages – it would be that child-like heart of hers. She has this unquenchable thirst for learning how to be the best person she can be. Whenever we train together, she would always approach me and ask what she can improve on; she loves asking questions. But what's so impressive about her? I never heard her say things like "Sorry, I can't do it – only powerful mages can do that. I'm not one of them" or "I'm not like you, Mira-nee; and obviously, I'm not even like Erza-san. So, I'm just going to give up." NOT EVEN ONCE. That's what I really admire her for. Although Lisanna is not one of the strongest and most powerful mages in Fairy Tail, she truly has the potential of becoming the best she could be. "This is the only magic I have," she would always say, "So, I'll make the best out of it."

The unique qualities she has and the things she does, I miss them – terribly. There are times when we fight until we reach the point where we don't want to talk to each other anymore. But it always ends smoothly when she tells me with a smile and a shrug as if to say, "I'm sorry. Let's be friends again." That small and cute voice had the power to cool me down. And it was enough.

There were also the times when tragedy occurs and we feel like all hope is lost, especially the time when the lives of our parents were taken away. I was inconsolable back then. Considering the fact that I'm the eldest among my siblings, I always hold back the tears in my eyes, no matter how much I want to spill them out. I wouldn't want Elfman and Lisanna to think of me as a cry baby (even if I was, and I'm still one right now). But I couldn't handle it anymore. I have reached my limit. I would cry myself to sleep, and when I wake up the next day, I would begin to cry again. I didn't care if Elfman and Lisanna saw me anymore. All of those tears that have been unshed and the ones that I have been fighting to hold back now spilled out. Among my siblings, I was the one who cried the most.

One night, while I was laying down in bed, letting the tears slip down on my face silently, I would hear my little sister sing the lullaby our mother used to sing. She tried her hardest to comfort us despite feeling down herself. As she sings the song, her voice was shaky and full of pain. Tears were flowing down her cheeks continuously as well. It wasn't as soothing and comforting as how mother used to sing. But it was enough.

When we finally made it to the Fairy Tail guild, our faces glowed with a joy we knew could never be ours. The mages welcomed us with open arms despite what we've been through. All I know for sure is that the people in the guild experienced their own sharks as well. Everyone was just so warm; I could already feel myself as if I were fleeting miles away in a blissful road to paradise. It was during this time when I felt assured that we won't be experiencing another tragedy, now that we have a new family who can shield us from harm and welcome us with warmth. I doubt we'll be going through another hardship as drastic as before.

But I was wrong.

Several years after we joined the guild, an unexpected tragedy occurred. When we took a mission far away in the forest, Elfman's Take Over: Beast magic was starting to go haywire, to the point that he started to act like a beast himself. He couldn't gain back his composure and was going wild like crazy. I just stood there aghast, not knowing what I was supposed to do. Fear overwhelmed me. My heart was pounding so hard as if I were going to have a cardiac arrest any time soon. This nightmare was eating me alive, no matter what I did. I fell down on my knees. I even forced my muscles to obey me, and I tried to stand up. But it was no use. I was already consumed whole by this apprehension.

Suddenly, Lisanna stood before the tempestuous creature who happens to be our brother. She was wearing a bright and dauntless expression on her face. Unlike me, she didn't look at him as if he were a real beast, but deep down, she knew that he was our loving and kind-hearted brother who never lets his comrades down. So, she stood there, shouting words of encouragement; she opened her arms as if she were expecting a hug. Knowing that her life may be in danger, she still had the courage of thinking of others before herself. It was clearly visible.

As I continue to let the fear consume me, I stared at her, admiring her strength and bravery. To be honest, I'm starting to feel this slight pang of shame inside of me. Even if I'm biologically the eldest among them, I acted as if I were the youngest. I didn't even had Lisanna's courage to stand up for our brother despite the fact that her life may be at risk. I feel like I didn't play my part as the eldest sibling very well.

Then it all comes down to _this._

My brother failed to gain back his composure, no matter what Lisanna did. So, he threw her away as if she were a small and helpless animal and sent her flying to the sky. I screamed at the top of my lungs when I saw what just happened. I ran in the forest to look for her. After I sprinted for several miles and caught my breath, I saw a lifeless figure in an open space, laying down with blood and wounds all over her body. It was Lisanna, I can tell.

As I hurried over to check her condition, it brought a certain tightness in my chest that I never felt before. I haven't been in a somewhat shattered funk for years, and I couldn't believe that it started to seep through my whole body once again. But this was different. Seeing my little sister suffer such horrible pain like this is a nightmare – an eternal nightmare. I don't want her to die yet, not before I do. I have no intention of outliving her if I were given any chance.

Suddenly, the tightness in my chest started to loosen up a bit when I saw that faint yet exuberant smile written on Lisanna's face. Despite the condition she is in, no matter how painful it is, she never ceases to wear a bright and luminous expression on her face. It somehow lit a spark that refused to be extinguished.

After a few minutes that almost seemed like hours, she finally got the words past her throat to convey what she wanted to say. Her voice was trembling and full of pain, but it had so much hope and light in it. "D-don't worry, Mira-nee... One day... we'll... m-meet... each other... again..." That statement, in its own little way, brought tears to my eyes. Her body was starting to glow as the sky takes away her life. It was a rather short and simple life, but it was spent well by its wielder. I never thought that it was just too soon.

That moment right there just left a growing mark inside of me; and I can say that it was indelible. It irreversibly changed my whole life. As we continue to part ways, I felt the strong and unbreakable connection I had with my little sister. Not even death nor eternal separation can break that strand.

Now that she's gone, that unfathomable feeling started to come back again. But to tell you the truth, I didn't feel as shattered or depressed as the one I experienced after we lost our parents. I felt like crying my heart out over the loss of my sister but the tears just won't come out. It was my brother that felt completely inconsolable. He regretted what he did, and I forgive him for that. But every time I tried my hardest to comfort him, the tears coming out of his eyes would not stop, no matter what I did. He flew into a suicidal depression. Then I said to him, holding his hand as I caressed it, "Do you think Lisanna would like you to stay that way your whole life? I know she forgives you. Believe in that." After he heard what I said, he suddenly stopped crying. I know how he feels. I've been like that ever since our parents died, and I was completely shattered back then. I tried my best to comfort him. But I can assure that it was enough to bring tears to his eyes under ordinary circumstances.

A few years after Lisanna's disappearance, I never realized how much I've changed, even my fellow guild members think the same way. They're saying things like, "Wow Mira, what happened to you? You were such a demon back then but now... you're like a mother to everyone!" Well, all I can say it that I've been that way because of _her. _She opened my eyes to the light in the world and a purpose in life. Everything I did, even the mundane, everyday sorts of things, mattered to me as if they were the most important in the world. Be it washing the dishes, cleaning my room, or fixing my bed, I gave my best in doing it. Every time I take missions to help out some of my fellow mages, I always think of her. _She _was one of my reasons to live. I wouldn't have been an S-Class mage without her support.

Every time I wake up in the morning, she would always be the first one to greet us good morning, wearing a smile on her face. But now, she wasn't there. And I miss that so much. Whenever I feel down, I would always expect her to place a hand on my shoulder and say, "It's going to be alright." I miss the times when she would bug me by asking too much questions during our training. But she wasn't there.

_She wasn't there._

When her death anniversary came, my brother and I went to the church once again and visited her grave. The environment was tense and silent. The rain cascaded down on us as we reminisce those times when it was still the three of us. I miss her so much. When I looked back to the time of her funeral a few years back, everybody felt so empty and bleak. It brought out a dark and gloomy atmosphere. All of them were crying, except for _me. _I didn't know why back then. But now, I finally came to realize.

Somehow, deep inside, I know she's not dead. I long for the day when she'll come back running towards me, and I can finally wrap her around her arms once again. I'll wait for that until she comes home.

What made me feel that? Well, it's too complex to fully understand. But there is just something about that time when she was taken away. I felt like I was closer to her than ever, and I can assure myself that we will meet again. I can feel it.

As I look back to all those times we have spent together, I never realized how much I've changed because of her. And deep in my soul, my faith in her still gave me hope – the hope that I would finally see her again.

If there is someone who has the gentle echo of a voice to guard us from harm; the power to disperse the seed of benevolence and shatter the walls of impossibility, even if she isn't one of the most powerful wizards you'll meet; it would be Lisanna. But in my eyes, she is already the best mage she could be.

That is my Lisanna – my little sister.


End file.
